Cindy

I think of your love for all.
I think of your heart that cared so deeply for the children you worked with.
I think of how much you adored your husband, Greg.
I think of how much you adored your girls and Chris.
I think of your flare for decorating.
I think of laughter.
I think of ice cream.
I think of your passion to live your life deliberately.
I think of how many people you touched in your 62 years on this earth.
I think about how I wish we'd had more time together.
I think of hospitality.
I think of Christmas's.
I think of Sticky Fingers BBQ
I think of your grandchildren.
I think of your mom and your siblings.
I think of shopping for bargains.
I think of the old days.
I think of the recent days.
I think of your wisdom.
I think of your fears.
I think of your strength.
I think of your weaknesses.
I think of your sense of justice.
I think of your discernment.
I think of the way you hated dogs.
I think of how you hated getting your picture made.
I think of your smile.
I think of how you lived your life driven by your love for Jesus.

What I can't think of is doing life without you.
I can't think about holidays without you.
I can't think of Greg without you.
I can't think of the hole that's left in our family.

You lived your life well. Life will not be the same without you, beautiful Cindy. I miss you every minute of every day. I love you more than you ever knew. I wish I could tell you one more time that I love you. I can't wait to see you again.

You'd better let somebody love you....

Here's to you my friend. "It seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table but you only want the ones that you can't get." Much love...

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet

Now, it seems to me some fine things
Have been laid upon your table,
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home

And freedom, oh freedom, well that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows;
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences; open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late

Today

Today I asked a friend to give me his opinion on men, what they think of me, how I can improve, and so on... My heart was pounding as I waited for his answer. After he answered me I reflected on who I am and what I want out of life. The truth be told, I am satisfied with who I am.

There's always room to grow and improve. I feel I am always trying to become a better me, to love more, forgive more and understand others more. Yet I believe I am the woman God wants me to be. I'm far from perfect. But I am me! Unique, certainly. But I embrace my uniqueness. What if we were all created alike? Then there wouldn't be a unique life. Life would be boring and we would have no need for this individual journey He has us on. I'm grateful for the journey. It's beautiful, painful, full of grace, and growth. For that, I am so grateful. Today I am grateful that I am walking it on my own, just me and my God. He is so amazing!

I am happy I ask my friend his opinion. For in his thoughts I realized I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I didn't agree with all he said, but that's okay with me. For I know myself better, and during our conversation I realized that reflecting on who I am and what God thinks of me is what matters. Following Him is real life! He is my True Love for always and forever!

I Stand Amazed

Remember the old hymn? "I stand amazed in the presence......Oh how marvelous, Oh how wonderful...". When I was a child, that was just a song. Now that I am growing older, and life changes day to day, I understand the meaning! I do stand amazed that Jesus would die for me. Oh how wonderful the life He has given me and other believers!

It has taken me years to understand fully how wonderful He is and what a wonderful life He gives. But today, I understand more than yesterday, I am certain I will never fully understand until I meet Him face to face. What a glorious day that will be!

No, my life isn't perfect. I am far from perfect. But when I am walking with Him, there is always something new. There is always hope, and satisfaction. I am always learning. I fail often, so often. But He pulls me back up and together we move forward.

I do stand amazed! I am amazed that He loves me, failures, body image, wrong choices, and the sins that I can't seem to shake. But you see? He died for those sins and failures. And He rose again, giving me a new life. My old life is history. My new life is love and forgiveness. He sees me as beautiful, even when I look in the mirror and see myself in other ways.

So tonight, I do truly stand amazed! What a good God! He loves me just as I am, even when I feel unlovable, He loves me! Yes, there are many days I feel unlovable. But I am His, and He is mine. Always and forever, I am adored, and loved by the King of Kings.

Today I am Grateful (in no particular order)

I am grateful for true friends.
I am grateful for people who know the truth and defend me when necessary.
I am grateful for this little white dog who adores me every single day.
I am grateful for my grown children who stand by my side always.
I am grateful for my parents who, though they are not always in great health, they are alive.
I am grateful for an extended family that loves me.
I am grateful for my home.
I am grateful for my son in law who loves me as if I were his own mom.
I am grateful that God has given me the wisdom to take the high road when others sling lies my way.
I am grateful for a job.
I am grateful for my grand dogs.
I am grateful for a great car that is dependable.
I am grateful that God uses odd things like social network to connect me with people who have become my closest friends.
I am grateful for my church.
I am grateful for a pastor who speaks the truth, no matter what it cost him.
I am grateful for "my person"
I am grateful for laughter.
I am grateful for fun times.
I am grateful for God's miraculous provision.
I am grateful for health.
Most of all, I am grateful for my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I am not perfect, but He loves me.
I am grateful that He knows the truth. There's no hiding from Him, though mere humans  can be fooled.
I am so grateful for forgiveness for my sins.
I am grateful for 56 years of life, learning, ups and downs, for it's through the ups and downs that we come to know who God really is.
I am grateful all He gives, for it's more than I can mention.

My life is so good, my heart is so full of love. I wouldn't change the difficulties and struggles for anything. For through the difficulties, lies, and sin (whether it be mine or that of others) I know God so much more than I ever have before. I am looking forward to the future, for He holds it all. He never fails. Never.

She Danced

Once upon a time there was a woman, a strong godly woman who loved the Lord her God with all her heart. It was December 16th, 9 days before Christmas. She was sitting in her home all alone. She was dreaming of times past, when her home was full of children, laughter, and the excitement of Christmas. Her family would gather in the kitchen to bake cookies together. Their tree was decorated to perfection, at least to her family if was perfect. It was covered with ornaments from days gone by. Each ornament represented a vacation, or a stage of life her children were in. They were collected over 26 years, so their tree held many memories.

The food was so good. Each year there were favorite recipes made for each person in the family. Rich, sinful food baked with the love that only a mom can add into such decadent dishes. As she sat on her sofa that night she could almost smell the food baking as the memories flowed.

There were friends coming in and out like a revolving door, all anxious to share in the festivities at her home. Laughter rang so loud as they told the same jokes, reminisced about the same memories year after year, each year adding new memories to the collection of laughter and fun they shared.

She had a dog that she loved dearly. He love Christmas. As soon as the tree came out, he knew what was happening. He would lay on his bed, adoring the tree after it was decorated. And on Christmas morning he knew how to open his own gifts. He was a huge part of the laughter and fun of the season now gone by.

But this year was entirely different. There was no tree, the ornaments in their boxes, no baking and little laughter. The kids had all grown up and moved on, taking their friends with them. Their favorite dog had gone on to heaven to wait on them. Her husband had walked away a while ago, and she had fallen in love with a new man. He was living hundreds of miles away. His family needed him far more than she did, so leaving him was a sacrifice she was willing to make for the sake of those who loved him and needed him more.

She had lost her job, the job she loved with her whole heart. So her co workers were not around to celebrate Christmas with her. Oh, she had a new job but it wasn't the same. She had traded her happiness for a little more money. The women she loved and respected were no longer in her life. Most of them had moved on, though her life had stopped the last time she walked out the door. She missed those women with her whole heart, for they always played a large part in her Christmas celebration.

The quiet of her home made tears flow down her cheeks. So grateful for years gone by, for the happiness and love she had shared, the memories brought a smile to her face.

Then suddenly a simple truth crossed her mind. It was a truth she would carry with her for days to come. You see, her God that she loved and adored had stripped her bare of all things she adored. All that was left was Him. Her bare bones, and her God. Excitement began to fill her soul as she realized how much He loved her. He loved her so much that He had given her this new great mission. Her mission was to start her life over again from a blank slate. Just her and her precious God. He really was all she needed. She began to realize that with her entire heart and soul. He was all she needed. He had equipped her for years for this day, this day that she was stripped to her bare bones. Now the rebuilding would begin, for He gave her Hope and a future. Her new life would be just as beautiful as her old life. But it would be different. Gratitude and excitement filled her heart as she wiped away her tears. She could not wait to see what the future holds, for God had called her to Himself, and written His name on her heart. And she began to dance, the excitement could not be contained so she danced.

There is no fear in love Part 2

I am very disturbed over the arguments I am seeing on Facebook over the Syrian Refugees. I am certain that many of the refugees are people who are truly terrified and fleeing to save their lives and the lives of their family. I am also certain that some are good people who really need help. My question to the United States and to Christians who are talking about loving the refugees and welcoming them is this: How do we know which ones are radical extremist and which ones are decent people fleeing for their lives.

God calls us to love our enemies. But he does not call us to love Satan. The Muslim Extremest are the face of Satan. They are out to kill Christians. That's their calling in life. So why would we allow them into our country? Do we think, as they cross the borders and are searched and questioned, they are going to say, "Yes, I am a Muslim Extremist. But I want to come with my family and live in the US." Are we really that foolish? Have we forgotten 9-11 already? It only took 19 of them to kill thousands of Americans.

Will I be Okay, and filled with love when when they attack Chattanooga again? Or any other city in our country. There is no fear in love. But true love protects those who follow Christ by protecting them from Satan, our enemy! The fear I see is the fear that Christians have of speaking up, saying the truth in love to those who want these refugees in our country. We will be loving like Christ if we close our borders and protect our own, and other nations who are our close allies. That's love. Sometimes we must go to war. And war does not mean we allow evil into our nation. It means we fight against evil.

Let's stop being afraid. Stop being politically correct, and speak up and say NO we don't want more refugees in our country. Our nation no longer lives like a Christ filled nation, but there are still many godly people in our country. Our war is against Satan. We do not welcome him. We fight against him through the power of the Holy Spirit. We are taught to be wise. Let's be wise, Christians.

I'm done.