She Danced

Once upon a time there was a woman, a strong godly woman who loved the Lord her God with all her heart. It was December 16th, 9 days before Christmas. She was sitting in her home all alone. She was dreaming of times past, when her home was full of children, laughter, and the excitement of Christmas. Her family would gather in the kitchen to bake cookies together. Their tree was decorated to perfection, at least to her family if was perfect. It was covered with ornaments from days gone by. Each ornament represented a vacation, or a stage of life her children were in. They were collected over 26 years, so their tree held many memories.

The food was so good. Each year there were favorite recipes made for each person in the family. Rich, sinful food baked with the love that only a mom can add into such decadent dishes. As she sat on her sofa that night she could almost smell the food baking as the memories flowed.

There were friends coming in and out like a revolving door, all anxious to share in the festivities at her home. Laughter rang so loud as they told the same jokes, reminisced about the same memories year after year, each year adding new memories to the collection of laughter and fun they shared.

She had a dog that she loved dearly. He love Christmas. As soon as the tree came out, he knew what was happening. He would lay on his bed, adoring the tree after it was decorated. And on Christmas morning he knew how to open his own gifts. He was a huge part of the laughter and fun of the season now gone by.

But this year was entirely different. There was no tree, the ornaments in their boxes, no baking and little laughter. The kids had all grown up and moved on, taking their friends with them. Their favorite dog had gone on to heaven to wait on them. Her husband had walked away a while ago, and she had fallen in love with a new man. He was living hundreds of miles away. His family needed him far more than she did, so leaving him was a sacrifice she was willing to make for the sake of those who loved him and needed him more.

She had lost her job, the job she loved with her whole heart. So her co workers were not around to celebrate Christmas with her. Oh, she had a new job but it wasn't the same. She had traded her happiness for a little more money. The women she loved and respected were no longer in her life. Most of them had moved on, though her life had stopped the last time she walked out the door. She missed those women with her whole heart, for they always played a large part in her Christmas celebration.

The quiet of her home made tears flow down her cheeks. So grateful for years gone by, for the happiness and love she had shared, the memories brought a smile to her face.

Then suddenly a simple truth crossed her mind. It was a truth she would carry with her for days to come. You see, her God that she loved and adored had stripped her bare of all things she adored. All that was left was Him. Her bare bones, and her God. Excitement began to fill her soul as she realized how much He loved her. He loved her so much that He had given her this new great mission. Her mission was to start her life over again from a blank slate. Just her and her precious God. He really was all she needed. She began to realize that with her entire heart and soul. He was all she needed. He had equipped her for years for this day, this day that she was stripped to her bare bones. Now the rebuilding would begin, for He gave her Hope and a future. Her new life would be just as beautiful as her old life. But it would be different. Gratitude and excitement filled her heart as she wiped away her tears. She could not wait to see what the future holds, for God had called her to Himself, and written His name on her heart. And she began to dance, the excitement could not be contained so she danced.

There is no fear in love Part 2

I am very disturbed over the arguments I am seeing on Facebook over the Syrian Refugees. I am certain that many of the refugees are people who are truly terrified and fleeing to save their lives and the lives of their family. I am also certain that some are good people who really need help. My question to the United States and to Christians who are talking about loving the refugees and welcoming them is this: How do we know which ones are radical extremist and which ones are decent people fleeing for their lives.

God calls us to love our enemies. But he does not call us to love Satan. The Muslim Extremest are the face of Satan. They are out to kill Christians. That's their calling in life. So why would we allow them into our country? Do we think, as they cross the borders and are searched and questioned, they are going to say, "Yes, I am a Muslim Extremist. But I want to come with my family and live in the US." Are we really that foolish? Have we forgotten 9-11 already? It only took 19 of them to kill thousands of Americans.

Will I be Okay, and filled with love when when they attack Chattanooga again? Or any other city in our country. There is no fear in love. But true love protects those who follow Christ by protecting them from Satan, our enemy! The fear I see is the fear that Christians have of speaking up, saying the truth in love to those who want these refugees in our country. We will be loving like Christ if we close our borders and protect our own, and other nations who are our close allies. That's love. Sometimes we must go to war. And war does not mean we allow evil into our nation. It means we fight against evil.

Let's stop being afraid. Stop being politically correct, and speak up and say NO we don't want more refugees in our country. Our nation no longer lives like a Christ filled nation, but there are still many godly people in our country. Our war is against Satan. We do not welcome him. We fight against him through the power of the Holy Spirit. We are taught to be wise. Let's be wise, Christians.

I'm done.

There's No Fear In Love

I must admit I am trying to figure things out as I write this entry. It's been a very odd and wonderful week full of lots of love with family and friends, and the strange happenings with a friend that I have never met face to face. I know God is teaching me something. I am hoping that as I write it will all fall into place.
Three times this week I have come across this Scripture:
1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; instead perfect love drives out fear.

As we celebrated my mom's 80th birthday this past week with my entire family I looked around the room and realized that my family is a family full of love. None of us are perfect and yet we share a love as close to perfect as a family can share. We are always there for each other, we really don't argue at all, we are open and honest with one another. I trust each one of them with my life and they trust me the same way. There is no fear in loving one another with the Price family. We walk through valleys together, and we celebrate victories together. No fear. Only love.

On the other hand, as this verse kept popping up this week, I ended a 3 month relationship with a very good man. In fact he was a pastor. Though we had never met face to face, we had talked on the phone, emailed, and sent text for 3 months. During these 3 months we had gotten to know one another very well. We were going to meet for dinner in 2 weeks. But the closer our dinner got, the more I heard fear in his voice. You see, he had dated a woman for 6 years before he met me. This woman crushed his heart. So as we began to both anticipate our dinner that we were going to have, he became afraid. He had not fully healed from his previous relationship. He was afraid to let go of the past. He was afraid to move forward into a new relationship. I suppose he was afraid I may reject him. And who knows? Once we met in person I may not have been attracted to him.

I was not afraid at all to meet him. Over the past 2 1/2 years I have learned what true love looks like. I have learned to live my life unafraid of love. I have learned that taking a chance on love far outweighs the risk of a broken heart. Confident in my God, and the perfect love He has for me, has caused me to not fear falling in love with a man. God is my first Love. Period. Whom shall I fear? So if things do not work out with a man, I will be fine. I have a perfect love, a love that always carries me through any and everything in life. I have a love that rejoices over me, and mourns with me. My first love will never leave me. Because of Him, I can love other people freely, whether it is a male friend, or a girlfriend or a family member or a stranger. There is no fear in love because God loves me perfectly, and wants me to love others the same way.

Because of all He has taught me in the last 2 1/2 years, through relationships, through friendships, through family, and through His love, the more confident I am to love others, regardless of the nature of the relationship I am free to love fearlessly.

When I said goodbye to my friend that I was about to meet for the first time I realized a couple of things. First, though he is a minister, he doesn't know the perfect love that God can give. As I have watched him over the past 3 months, and we have talked day to day I came to know that he didn't know God the way I know Him. Yes, I'm sure he's a Christian, but he has never been thrown into a place where God's love was all he had, therefore he doesn't know how to love fearlessly, to take a chance, to trust, and not be afraid.

I also learned that fearless love comes from God. When He teaches you how to love then there is no reason to not take a chance on someone you care a lot about. For my friend it was easier to say goodbye. For me, I would far rather try to work through his fears and see what was on the other side. I also learned that when you're seeking God in all relationships, the heartbreak becomes less painful. I didn't shed a tear. I have moved forward knowing that this man was not someone God wants in my life. I have moved forward easily because I have a Love that knows no fear. Because of Him, I can trust completely that He has gone before me and created my life's journey. For now my friend is not part of what God has for my life. I am perfectly fine with trusting God and moving on with my family and friends, the ones that will never leave my side and will love me with no fear.

God has taught me to love those who hate me. He has taught me to love those who love me dearly. He has filled my life with so many wonderful people who love me. Either way, whether it's someone who hates or someone who loves, as it says in 1st John, there is no fear in love. So I can take a leap, and love freely.

God's way is always best. He can always be trusted. Oh how He loves....And teaches us not to fear...

And then one day....

And then one day you realize that you've moved on. You've not just turned the page, but started a whole new chapter. You hear yourself laugh and you're reminded that the fear, and sadness that once haunted you is now gone. In its place is complete forgiveness and joy. A new thing. God has done something new. As a result, you're stronger, more wise, and you're once again full of joy. You dance, sing to the top of your lungs, deeply love your friends, family, care for strangers, and love your enemies. You've found your new normal and it is beautiful, for it was built on Him and Him alone. Thou hast taught me to say it is well...

Memories September 20th, 2015

As I was talking with a dear friend today, whose daughter is getting married next Friday, I advised her to relax and enjoy every moment. I told her there would be special moments that she will remember for the rest of her life.

As I said those words I realized I wanted to write down some of my amazing moments from Lindsay's wedding for my own sake. I never want to forget some of the special things that's happened the week of the wedding.

During the rehearsal, I think of my mom standing there, obviously lost about what was going on, but so proud of her gorgeous granddaughter! Lindsay was beaming in her white dress as she stared into the eyes of her future husband. My niece was the wedding coordinator. She took charge like a professional, telling the pastors, groomsmen, bridesmaids, and everyone where to stand and what to do.

After the rehearsal came the dinner at 212 Market.We all sat, talking and laughing for hours. Speeches were given. I got to meet Daniel's Aunt and Uncle who were lovely people. Then....I gave an unexpected speech! Completely impromptu. I remember as I talked, telling Daniel that I had prayed for Lindsay's future husband since I first found out I was expecting her, I glanced at the bridesmaids table. They were all in tears, Erin doing the ugly cry. haha Then we sat with Chris, Ashley, Layla, and Isla and laughed and talked for hours. I had expected it to feel awkward being alone, and me being and introvert, but there wasn't an awkward moment. It's was such a lovely evening!

Then there was the brunch, manicures and pedicures for Lindsay, the bridesmaids and I on Saturday. It was so much fun! We all laughed, took pictures, and had a lovely day together. I came out with red nail polish with glitter! So not me, but so much fun!

The next morning, I recall I had to stay in bed due to a trip to the ER the night before. I missed Lindsay getting her hair done. I got a phone call from Lindsay as soon as she left the shop saying "MOM I HATE MY HAIR!!!" She was beside herself! I jumped out of bed saying I'll be right there! That is what mom's do after all. We shove ourselves aside in a split second to run to the side of our children when they are in need. I got lost going to the venue! hahaha I didn't use my phone for directions, and it wasn't where I thought it was so it took me forever to get there. By the time I arrived, crisis solved! The bridesmaids had pitched in an fixed Lindsay's hair. Then it was time for us all to do our make up. We danced the NaeNae, laughed, and sang while getting ready. It was so much fun!

I recall Lindsay slipping into her wedding dress. Oh my! What a moment that was! She was ravishingly beautiful. Before she left for her first look with Daniel, we held each other, staring into each others eyes, whispering how much we love each other. A prayer was said, just the two of us and she was off to meet her groom. We spied from the balcony, catching a glimpses of their first look at each other, giggling like school girls.

When Lindsay returned, she undressed because she was so hot outside. hahaha was all sat in the room eating sandwiches, more laughter and giggles. Sherri came to share in the fun! Finally it was time. My son, Daniel, came to the bridal suite, we joined hands, all of us, and prayed for the future Mr and Mrs Beckler, the day, and their marriage. Then, with our hearts beating out of our chest, we took the long walk into the lobby, past the cake, decorations and food and watched our families being ushered in. One by one they paraded down the isle. Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents from all sides of the family. I was so proud that they all were there, alive and ready to watch my girl marry her groom.

Then it was our turn. Lindsay, my Daniel and I walking down the isle...we gave her to Daniel, thrilled with their love for one another. Lindsay handed me her purity ring. I wore it the rest of the night.

Grandad spoke, the Pastor Shannon, the took the Lords supper, as Casey and Kristin sang, said their vows and they were married! I remember my Daniel pulling me close with his are around me as we watched our beloved Lindsay leave us to be joined together as one with her handsome knew husbands.

After that, snapshots in my mind...Teresa Wade and her new husband beaming as they greeted us, as if it was her own daughter that got married. The first dance, breathtaking. Mingling with my friends and family. Sharing wine with Drake, sitting with the "cool people" haha from Ethos, having a talk with my old friend Bonnie Chichka, Sherri being by my side, dancing the night away, hugging Daniels family, sneaking a talk in with Daniel's cousin Sarah, delicious food, dancing with Lindsay, and then with Liddy (we didn't have a clue what we were doing but we had fun!) Grandmom joined in the dancing! haha Giggling like she does! I recall more friends and family than I could speak to, being showered with hugs, meeting Lindsay's co workers and laughing with them. Jan (Erin's mom) and Sherri dancing, neither one missing a beat! Chelsea stealing my IPhone and taking selfies of herself for me to find on my phone a few days later.

Then the fatigue, and bittersweet moments of realizing I was about to say goodbye to by beautiful daughter, Mrs Beckler. I recall my two Daniel's having a 45 minute heart to heart talk before we all left. Sparklers as the bride and groom headed for their car. One last hug, tears flowing freely as we said goodbye. All the people that stayed and cleaned up for us, each and every face that showed us the meaning of true love and friendship and family. The tears flowing as I drove home alone. Leaving on my vacation the next day alone, as the newlyweds headed to St Kits.

I am so grateful to God for each and every moment, each and every person who celebrated with us. Each text I got from David telling me I would be OK. He's such a close friend. Prayers from Aaron, my mate who lives in Australia. So many other friends continuing to pray for my kids and I as the beautiful day faded into another week. One of relaxation alone in the mountains for me. Quiet drives, bears, deer, other animals, leaves changing as the face of my family changed once again. How blessed we are to have so much love in our lives.

God has done exceedingly more than we could ask or think. To Him be all praise and glory and honor! Amen

DeClan

It was as if the world stood still for about an hour on Monday night. There was nothing but pure prayer, interceding, and worship. You see, my very best friends grandbaby, DeClan, is in very very bad condition. In fact, the doctors say he will not live. So, about 100 believers came together and did nothing but pray. We prayed for a miracle. We cried. We were silent. because there were no words to say. His illness is so big we couldn't get our minds around it. But God knew. He was there. And He heard our hearts.
As I sit here tonight, I am realizing how much a 2 month old baby, that I have never been able to see, has changed my world. Only God knows how long DeClan will be with us. But I do know this. God has used him to teach me even more about the power of prayer, about the strength of love, about the power of believers bonding together to pray, and about the never ending love between forever friends.
That evening,  those moments will live in my mind forever. God heal DeClan. Use his little life for You. Amen

Hallejuah!!!

God is SO good! He does greater than we could ever ask or think! He has provided beyond my wildest dreams, taking pressure off of me and my kids! He is amazing! He is good! He is a miracle worker. I'm so grateful! He honors those that live their lives to please Him. He has blessed my daughter and her fiance' beyond belief! Glory to His name.

I just HAD to give Him praise on here since my last blog was so painful. He saw! Though all the needs haven't been answered, all the ones I love have not been healed, He still worked a miracle in our lives today! I can't say enough about how amazing He is and how humbled and grateful I am for His continuous love and provision.

Amen!

Broken Hallejuah

It's been a very difficult week this week. There is so much heartache and pain in this world. I wonder when Jesus will come back? If I knew beyond a doubt that all my loved ones were ready to go, I sure would beg Him to come tonight.
This week our city has endured a terror attack. My mom is getting worse by the day. I found out a very dear friend of mine has Alzheimer's. I talked with her on the phone. My heart is so broken for her and her family. She's 54 years old, and going down hill very quickly. I said goodbye to my beloved job and beloved co workers of 7 years. They are like sisters to me. I drew strength through their love and prayers. I am going to miss them so much. I am watching my very best friend watch her new born grandson hold on to life, being fed through a tube, having seizures, a shunt in his brain, kidney problems, and many other issues. I listen to my dad grieve over this slow goodbye we are saying to my mom. He talked and cried for an hour to me. I am the only person he knows who loves her like he does and understands how he feels. Fiances are lean. The reality hit that I will be giving my daughter away in two months, just her brother and I. The loneliness of going through all this alone without a shoulder to lean on is sometimes unbearable.

Now here's the truth I am gleaning from all the heartache and pain.
God is our healer. He sees. He knows. He wipes our tears away. He is my providers. He is my protector. He is my Husband. He is my Friend. His love never fails, never ends, and has no boundaries or conditions. He has our days numbered. He knows the day we will be born, and the day we will die. He carries me through the hardest of times. He grieves when I grieve. It is well with my soul. There is no life without Him. Period. For those who try and navigate life without Him, please turn and run into His arms. It's impossible to bear the heartache and pain without Him. His return is soon. There's no time to waste. Tell those you love how much you love them. Forgive all wrongs that have been done to you. Lend a helping hand to all who are in need. Go above and beyond to do what He has called you to do, for time is short and every moment counts. Material things are not important. Having money and possessions do not compare to the love of God, family and friends.
If you stumble on this little blog, I send you much love and many prayers. Jesus loves you. Don't wait another day. Trust Him as your Savior.

Alzeheimer's

She's slipping away. At first it was called Dementia. She was very forgetful during that time, but still able to interact. In the beginning she could even drive. But as time went on, I secretly knew she was getting worse. It was about this time last year the diagnosis changed. Alzheimer's. Stage 6. The word I prayed I would never have to hear from a doctor, because I knew it was a horrendous illness. I knew the pain that comes along with the illness.

I see it more and more with every visit. Today we went out to celebrate Father's Day. I watched her walking from the car to the restaurant. She was holding on to the arm of her dear friend as they approached the door. The closer she got, the more I saw the emptiness in her eyes. I began to tear up, but stopped myself before they got to the door. "Got to keep it together" I said to myself.

I watched her struggle with the menu. She didn't know what the foods were, because this was a restaurant she hadn't been to in years. Dad tried helping her decide what to order. She didn't understand. She finally came up with something. Dad had to order for her. Then she sat quietly as we all interacted with one another. She couldn't keep up with the conversation. So she sat there looking lost. We tried to include her but she was still lost.

She had forgotten who my daughters fiance' is. She covered well saying, "Good to see you young man". She used to know him well and love him lots.

The doctor gave her one last prescription a few months ago. "I think this will keep her stable, and buy her another 6 months or so". It's been six months. Her time is up with that medication and it showed today.

My mom is my best friend. She has always been my rock. She has rescued me from so many messes I got myself into when I was young. She has been my prayer warrior, my confidant, and my go-to person any time I needed her. She was funny. She taught me how to cook. She taught me about unconditional love. She taught me about God and forgiveness. She stood beside my dad as the pastor's wife. It wasn't an easy roll in life, but she handled it with grace, allowing God to use her any way He could. She never stopped praying for me and never gave up on me even when I was so far away from God. And she rejoiced more than anyone when her wayward daughter came home. She welcomed my husband (now ex) into our family like he was a son. When she first met him she warned him, "You'd better treat my girl good or you'll have to answer to me!" We all laughed about that for years. She grieved so deeply when he left. She adored my two now grown kids, always being the best grandmother. Slipping them money when she saw them, proud of them all of their lives.

But today I saw it more than ever before. She's slipping away. There's nothing anyone can do about it. No more medicines to try. We just have to see what time brings us. My heart aches. I long for one more good laugh with her, or normal conversation. But those days are over. Brokenhearted, I write this for anyone going through the same thing. I miss my momma. I miss who she was. I am grateful that she still knows most of us. But no one, or nothing can ever replace the relationship what I had with her for 56 years.  I miss the twinkle in her eye. I feel so alone without her. She's no longer herself. God help me. God help us all.

Labels and Tolerance

Last week I was faced with a sticky situation. While talking to a friend about Bruce Jenner (Kaitlyn) I simply expressed that television was giving him (or her) too much air time. I also said that they were giving Kim Kardashian too much air time. My sweet friend became very angry and laid into me. Rather than hearing what I said which had nothing to do with my approval or disapproval of Bruce or Kim, she only heard Bruce Jenners name and she was furious. She began to tell me that I was a "right wing conservative" and she was an extreme left wing person. She proceeded to defend Bruce's sex change, then began to say that Southern Baptist were brain washed and only believed what they believe because that's what their parents told them to believe. She said that I believe that Southern Baptist is the ONLY denomination that's is right (which is completely not true) but she believes that any religion could be right about God. She stated that she is not a believer and never will be.

I was stunned by her reaction. I wasn't even discussing my beliefs about transgender people. Only disguising that television gives way too much air time to things that are not important, and not enough air time to things that really matter.

I did speak to her about my beliefs and about Christ. She opened the door for me to share my faith even though she was angry. She refused to listen to me, rather she became more angry.

 When the dust settled I began to think about the labels we put on people. My friend told me that I am very intolerant. Little did she realize just how tolerant I am toward people that believe differently from me. I have a very good friend who is an Atheist, family members who are agnostic, a few friends who are gay, a Muslim family that I know, and so on. I don't think "tolerant" is even the right word for it. I disagree with my friends life styles and beliefs. They all know how I believe and what I believe. My heart is fill with love for these people who live their lives in such a different manner than I do. We all get along very well, and love each other. I tell them I love them. They tell me they love me.

My friend that was angry with me is really an acquaintance.  If she knew me very well she would be surprised at some of the things I believe is acceptable. You see, "labels" can really get you into trouble. No, I'm not in the extreme right wing camp. I think for myself. My beliefs are based on the Bible, not on man made rules. When you label people, it causes strife and hatred. No one fits perfectly into a label. Whether it's a political label, a social label, or an ethnic label, labels are dangerous. They put people into categories. And categories and stereotypes are not fair to anyone.

As I look back on my conversation with my friend last week, I realize that while she said that I do not have tolerance toward people who are different than me, she was not being intolerant of me. She was full of anger and intolerance toward me, and toward Christians in general. But if you really think about it, at our hearts we are all the same. We were born with a craving for love, and a need for Jesus who is the Lover of our soul. Through circumstances, and what life hands we make a series of choices. What we believe, who we become, how we love or hate, and whether or not we let the horrible things that can happen to us along the way make us better or make us bitter. Of course there are some people that are just pure evil. I am referring to Isis, Manson, child molesters, serial killers, and so on. But even with these people, they were born as an innocent baby and somewhere along the way they made choices about who they would become and what they would do with their life.

My friend and I have far more in common than what we disagree on. We both love, are witty, have children, enjoy life, have friends in common and are good people. Maybe we should all focus more on what we agree on, and less on what we disagree on?

For my dear friends who are Christians, labeling people and hating them because of that label is a very dangerous road to be on. It is arrogant. It is not Christ-like. We do not know their heart. That is for God to judge. How can we reach a world that is lost if we are picking and choosing who we will talk to because they are different than us? In order to be effective for the kingdom, we must love those that are different than us. That does not mean that we agree with their life, their sin or our differences. It only means that we are doing what Christ taught us to do. "Love those who hate you. Pray for those who persecute you." That is our mission here on earth. When you follow what the Bible teaches, there is no room for Christians to hate. We are all human and there will be conflict in life because of our sin nature. But as we seek to live a righteous life, there is no room for stereotypes and labels. We are commanded to love. We are commanded to forgive. That's exactly how we must live our lives, even when we disagree.

Steady Heart

I feel led to write about an intimate moment I had with God this morning. I am posting it here rather than on my Never Failing Love blog because it's personal, it's my story, so only those who stumble upon this little unadvertised blog will read it.

If you knew me almost 3 years ago, you would have known a different person. I was married, my kids were in and out of the house constantly, bringing friends with them. I never knew who would be at my dinner table. The food was always good, the conversation even better. We were a tight knit clan, though there was trouble lying underneath. The sound of laughter filled my home on a daily basis. I was full of hopes and dreams for the future. I was busy constantly with my life, my friends. my kids, their friends, family, my job. There was always something going on.

In August of 2012 I had a minor medical procedure which led to major medical problems. After several medical tests, more trips to the dr than I can remember, I finally had major surgery. Three weeks after my surgery, my then husband asked for a divorce. I wasn't healed from my surgery yet, but had to begin a new battle in the foreign land of divorce and law. The dust finally settled from the divorce, and I began a process of remodeling my home. It was a nightmare. I lost money, I was betrayed, and stolen from during that process. Once my home was almost completed, my beloved dog had to be put down. I had a parent diagnosed with Alzheimer's, a child who is wayward, another parent with heart problems. There were several other things that happened during that period that are too personal and to painful to write about. Brokenhearted, pain, tears, rejection, betrayal, stolen from by a trusted friend, and still trying to put my house back together, I found myself in an empty house, alone without my kids who had both moved out, without many of my friends who had moved on with their life, trying to help my daughter plan a wedding, more heartache and tears, the loneliest I had ever felt in my life.  I was in despair. I remember asking God to please give me a break. But the heartache kept coming. Unspeakable things happening.

Today, I stood in church and suddenly realized the dust had settled. I smiled as I worshiped today! I felt lighthearted and at total peace. Today I realized very clearly that God had brought me though. The battle was over. I had fought a long fight, allowing God to carry me through each and every twist and turn. My faith was growing, and building. My heart was becoming more and more humble. My love for Him was becoming so strong that it was overwhelming me.

Today I realized this. I would not trade one second of pain, one physical problem, one drs visit, one tear I cried, or one single moment of heartache and despair over the past many months for anything the world has to offer. You see, as I sit here tonight, I know that God was developing in me a steady heart. A heart that will never move away from His steadfast Hand, a heart that is free to love others unconditionally, a grateful heart, a humble heart, and I heart that will trust His loving Hand forever.

As the song says:
"And as the dawn breaks
And the clouds clear
In an open space
Together we will run"

Dawn has broken! The clouds have cleared. And together we will run...

My new theme song. Steady Heart by Steffany Gretzinger The video is on Youtube. Go there and listen to the song.
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tp80oWtnJc0

I share my story (minus many details) so that anyone who may read this will know that there is hope. Whatever you are going through, no matter your pain or despair, press into God. He is certainly big enough to handle anything you can lay on him. And He WILL carry you through. Someday the dawn will break and the clouds will clear. When that day comes, you will find that He did an amazing work in your heart.

She Reads Truth

I started a new journey today. I am so excited. Life has taken such amazing turns. I love this crazy adventure I am on. Last night my dear friend made me an offer I couldn't refuse. She offered me a Bible Study called She Reads Truth. The kicker is someone else donated it to her for another person to do with her. She chose me! I have been praying all weekend about the next step in my life. When God presents the opportunity, I will leap. I believe this was day one of the first of many opportunities He is going to hand me over the next few months.

I can not explain it. There's just a feeling stirring inside me. I am making some serious changes. Eating differently. Working out more. Unplugging from technology and taking time for just me. Listening. Getting to know myself again, and the heart of others. Breathing in life. Doing a little traveling. I believe along the way, as I make these changes, life will begin to change and I will land exactly where I am supposed to be. I don't know where that is yet. But I do know that my life is going to look different in a year, in two years and so on.

I want to change, to grow, and to step out whenever I am called. To touch lives of any one God allows in my path. Rich, poor, confused, brokenhearted, widowed, divorced, atheist, agnostic, gay, those that have it all, and those who don't. Where ever I can be used, I want to be wide open to God using me. I want to live in total abandon to God's will for my life, fearless and strong as I trust His unseen Hand.

So today my journey begins. It's a journey I have been on for many years, yet at some point I slowed my journey to grieve. Now I want to begin again. It's time to move forward again. And I am ready...

My Lips will Praise You

Rough day...
But even when my heart is breaking my lips will praise you...

True Love is Waiting

For the man in prison
living out life without hope
Its never too late to find Love
To Fall into His arms

For the woman who's been abused
Beaten with sticks and stones
There's a true unconditional love waiting
Fall into His arms

For the teenager who's being bullied
laughed at because you're different
True love is waiting
Fall into His arms

For the woman who's been called a whore
more men than she can remember
True love is waiting
Fall into His arms

For the man who has chased after gold
And found himself at a deadend
True Love is waiting
Fall into His Arms

For the mom who feels she's felled
And the tears drip down her face
True love is waiting
Fall into His arms

No life is hopeless
No sin is unforgivable
No matter what the world is saying
Fall into His arms

True Love

You gave up your life just for me.
The sacrifice you made was pure love.
Because you love me, I can love others
Because you forgave me, I can forgive others.

The miracle of love and forgiveness
It's impossible to understand.
The beauty of a life of freedom
Could only come from You.

Each day I awake anticipating Your love
and each day I experience the miracle of forgiveness.
Unconditional love
Love that never ends.

One day soon
I will be at your feet
Oh what a beautiful thought
And on that day I will see your beautiful

I will then know the beauty of true love
I will know the beauty of true forgiveness
for it will be all over You face
What a glorious day that will be

I imagine I will be on my face
for 10 million years or more
For even as I try to imagine that day
My only desire is to shout your praise.

Holy Holy Holy
Beautiful never ending love
Pure joy that knows no end
You are the king of Kings!

Searching the Horizon

There was a young woman, wildly in love with God, and wildly in love with her husband and daughter. After a couple of years of being a mommy she knew her calling in life was to be a mom. Her heart began to long for a son.

Soon she found out she was expecting another little one. A son! As he was still tiny in her womb, she prayed for a name. God gave her a name for her son. Daniel. God also gave her a verse. Daniel 1:8" But Daniel made up his mind that he would not defile himself"... Little did she realize that once her Daniel "made up his mind" he would be a strong willed son.

She adored him anyway. He ruined many meals in restaurants crying so hard that fellow diners would stare them down. He was determined not to eat certain foods, throwing up if necessary to stop his mom from forcing him to eat. Bedtime was a nightmare. He would not stay in bed, no matter how many spankings he got! (sorry for all of you who disagree with spanking. she spanked her kids...).

But as time went on, she saw her hard work paid off. Her handsome son became a godly young man. He was so generous, kind, and caring. He loved God with his whole heart. And yes, he stood up against the crowd, never following peer pressure. He was his own person, doing what he thought was right, no matter what others thought.

His mom was so proud. Often he saved his allowance and took her to dinner. This was quiet a sacrifice since his allowance was only $12 every 2 weeks. One day God spoke to him. God asked Daniel to give 1/2 of his allowance to the church for three entire years! Daniel never second guessed God. Instead he gladly gave his money. And God blessed him richly. He won contests, drawings, and had others give him money "just because".

One day Daniel decided he wanted to play bass guitar. He had an old guitar his dad had given him. He picked it up and taught himself to play, in TWO weeks!!! On the third week, much to his mom's surprise, he was asked to play for the entire church!!! Mom was so nervous, but Daniel confidently picked up his guitar and played perfectly. It was an amazing Sunday!

Soon Daniel began to play in the youth band. In the beginning, it was so much fun. God sent several mentors into his life. They had so much fun! And they played music, built friendships, prayed together, and formed a deep bond.

One day a new adult came into Daniel's life. This adult decided he didn't like Daniel because he wore his hair a little long. So this adult began to pick on Daniel and blame him for things he was innocent of. Daniel's strong faith began to shrink. He began to question the God he had always loved.

Daniels mom had a broken heart. Though he was still going to church, he put down his guitar. Many people he looked up to left his life. And she watched him slip away.

Today she lays in bed every night and cries. Her beloved son is now a prodigal son. He has given up his faith for a life without God. He has followed friends who were on the wrong path. As her tears flow nightly, Daniel cares about his own happiness.

But Daniel's mom believes he will come home someday. He was taught the truth. His mom poured her life into teaching him the truth. He can not forget. He can question. He can deny. But he can not forget.

His mom is anticipating his return home any day now. She will never give up. And she will love him forever. When he comes home, the angels will rejoice. Mom will dance! Joy will abound! Pray for Daniel, and his mom. Someday this trial will be in the past. Someday Daniel will hold the hand of Jesus once again. There is no doubt in his mom's mind. God loves him too much to ever let him go!

For now, she is sitting with God, on the front porch waiting..Their eyes are searching the horizon for him...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htSfosJ0Y7o

Sticks and Stones

To Whom It May Concern,

When on Social Media, extreme caution must be used as we post, especially when we openly and daily post about our Savior Christ.

You see, pure hatred, darkness, and light cannot live together. Not forgiving those who asked for forgiveness and repented do not honor the name of Christ. Beating into your statuses hatred and name calling, and then professing Christ only brings shame to His name.

These statuses do hurt. They hurt the one who they are intended for. They hurt that persons adult children, their family, and friends. It also hurts your family. They become embarrassed over the shame you bring to them and to Christ.

When you continuously insult others and call them names, it doesn't hurt them as much as it hurts you. It only proves to all your Social Media friends and followers who you really are. It shows you have a heart full of hatred, you do not forgive, and you never put things behind you. While you are intending to hurt others reputation, you are really destroying your own reputation. Projection is very obvious to your readers. It has been said of you that you spew venom into all situations you are in. Sadly, you have proven this statement to be true over and over again.

But sadly it's your children whose hearts are broken. They only want peace. Instead they are thrown into drama that is unnecessary.

Your victim apologized and repented a long time ago. They are totally forgiven in the eyes of God. Your victims behavior has completely changed, encouraging family members to reach out to you, and to love you despite your behavior. Now it's your turn. Stop the madness, apologize to your readers, repent to God, and live your life in peace rather than hatred, uplifting your victim, your family and most of all bring honor to God.

As one who has forgiven others myself, and prayers for those who hate me, I can honestly say that a life of forgiveness and prayer for your enemies brings about peace and joy that only God can give. You can not hate your enemies when you pray for them. You can only love them and hope that someday God will make things right, and bring about peace in the entire family.

I wish you all the best. But most of all, I wish you true salvation, forgiveness, and a relationship with God and your family.

Sincerely,
Your worst enemy who forgave you a long time ago.