Sitting here in my favorite chair on a Saturday evening, the house is quiet, and I am finding myself in a very reflective mood. This past week has left me with a few thoughts, and frankly, a few questions for God.
I am taking life slow and easy these days due to my new life, dealing with Plantar Fisciitis. This is a condition that I had never heard of a few months ago. But it has quickly brought me down, some days I have barely been able to walk. I have my mind on our trip to Colorado next month, so I am finally willing to slow down enough to allow my foot to heal. After a trip to the Dr this past week, I quickly realized that the treatment for my new found companion, PF, is torture... so I am determined to behave myself...and resting is the best therapy. I have slowed down enough to think, but because my thoughts are personal, I don't plan on advertising this blog.
My mind always asked God what He's up to in situations. The one I experienced on Thursday night is one the still has me stumped. What was the purpose? What was God up to? Let me exlain.
Thurday was a fantastic day! My foot was doing better, and I had ventured out of the house with my dearest friend. We had a wonderful dinner. Delicious food. Great conversation. It seemed that God had orchestrated the day perfectly. On my way home from dinner I had decided to take Lindsay for ice cream. The day had been so lighthearted, and stress free that I was almost giddy. We sat a Chic Fil A in the parking lot laughing and talking and enjoying our ice cream. During the conversation she randomly said "I expect I'll see 'him' (he will remain nameless but refers to someone she loves deeply) soon. Two of my best friends saw him this past week, so I figure I'm next." We talked about it for a minute and went on about enjoying our ice cream. As we left and began the drive home, I heard her quietly say, "and there 'he' is"... We were both practically looking him right in the eye. He was standing in the parking lot, holding a girl in his arms...one of Lindsays friends from her old church. I think she went into shock, and my heart broke for her. As we drove away and tried to get our mind around the awkward scene, I knew the wound would be reopened. It really had barely healed over. I asked her how she was feeling and she said "Like I was just watching a movie of myself with 'him'. He was doing with 'her' what he and I used to do" The shock wore off and the pain set in. Why was he with the girl that vowed to Lindsay that she'd never date him?
And I was left with the question "why did Lindsay have to see that?" She was doing really good. His name was hardly ever mentioned. The wounds had all scabbed over and had almost healed. So I am not sure the purpose in reopening them.
As I prayed about it that night when I finally got in bed, I felt God was telling me that it wasn't about us, but He had a greater purpose. I quickly surrendered to Him. I have learned over the years that the sooner I allow Him to do His thing, the better. :) My eyes still tear up just thinking about it, but God's mercy is great, and Lindsay has moved forward. She is a godly strong woman! How thankful I am for that!
Other random questions I have tonight won't take such a long explaination. They are just ordinary questions like:
*Why in this day and age do medical treatments have to be so painful?
*Will I ever get to wear my Toms again?
*I have two young men that I love so much. I am praying for each of them every day. Will they ever lay down their own agenda and become men that follow God?
*Why has God raised up so many gorgeous godly young women, but so few godly young men? Where are all the godly men?
*Why do so many people settle for less that God's best, in order to be in a relationship?
*Will I ever get this weight off that I have gained from my injury and age, if I can't exercise?
The answers to my questions really all comes down to trust, don't they? And after following Him for almost 26 years I can honestly say that I trust Him. He is God whether I understand Him or not. Actually I am happy that I don't understand Him sometimes. I sure would hate to think I was serving a God that fit into my understanding... :)
This Scripture reference is tattooed on my lovely daughters shoulder. Its her life verse, as she says. I couldn't be more proud...
Isaiah 26:3-4
You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.
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