I am beginning a week that I have dreaded for years. I have actually prayed that God would somehow take me around it. But, as usual, He wants me to trust Him and go through it. Anxiety is gnawing at my stomach. It has been all day....I just can not be a fake...and that's what I feel is expected of me right now... I am so conflicted. So torn. So full of dread. :(  The last time I was thrown in to such an awkward situation, I had a panic attack and ran out of the room... Oh my!!! Jesus, oh Jesus I need you!